Monday, April 20, 2009

Beautiful Days that turn to Shit ...

I should have known that my day at work was way to good to be true. I should have known that it meant that something would come along and Fuck up my day.

The mailman sucks for bringing shitty mail to my house. My ex sucks for not paying me the full amount of child support each month. Hell he fucking sucks cause he doesn't work, lives rent free with his girlfriend and goes to school full time. I would also like to add that my Mortgage company sucks. They are so not helpful with anything. The Congressman I wrote a letter to a few months ago also sucks. Really even just an acknowledgement that you received my letter would be nice. I am pretty sure I voted for your ass. Sucky people that in some way made my beautiful day turn into shit.

I am sure I will want to retract this post later and I may or may not do it. I am so Fucking pissed right now. I have been crying for an hour. The really hard crying where you cant breath and when someone tries to say something to you the tears fall even harder. This is my blog and I dont fucking care what anyone thinks of me right at this moment. I just need to vent and this is my only place to do it.

I got the notice today that my house is officially in Foreclosure. Writing that sentence makes the flood gates open up again. I have until August to figure out what the hell to do.

Really?? I work full time, raise 4 kids (pretty much alone), and go to school. I am not a druggie or an alcoholic. Fuck I gave up smoking cigarettes to live healthier. I am a good citizen. I had a great job. The ex had a great job. It all went to shit and now I am losing my home. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!

I have been dealing with the mortgage company for months and can't get a straight answer out of anyone. I have called the Hope Now hotline and got the run around there also. I wrote a letter to my Congressman that went unanswered. *sigh* This new wonderful Making Home Affordable Stimulus Plan that our President has designed is looking like it won't even help me.

I just want to type like every bad word I can think of right now to get out my frustration. I want to crawl into bed and cry for the rest of the day and into the night. I want my Dad to come and fix everything like he used to. I want my Mom to fly here and hug me and tell me everything will be alright. Instead I will wash my face and walk out the door and go to class for the night. I will pretend nothing is wrong tomorrow at work and just tell everyone my puffy eyes from crying myself to sleep are allergies.

Fucking grr .... So I guess the dream I had Friday night where I met the President at the White House and he told me that my house would be mine and everything would work out really was just a dream. *sigh*

To give vent now and then to his feelings, whether of pleasure or discontent, is a great ease to a man's heart. ~Francesco Guicciardini


MindyMom said...

I had very similar news today. I have been trying to talk to my mortgage co. for over a month and finally got answers to my questions. Yes, I qualify for the government plan but it only reduces my monthly payment by $22.oo!!! and would cost me over $5K in closing fees!! Are you f'en kidding me?! I have GREAT credit, have paid all my payments on time and in full for over 7 years and that's the best they can do?? Not gonna help at all. Who the hell is this plan helping?

April said...

Call the Congressman's office. Over and over and over again until you get the help you need.

Mnemosyne said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'm so sorry that you are so upset and feeling so angry, frustrated, and every thing else. I'm sorry your ex is a deadbeat. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better! But I will be sending you good vibes and keeping your family in my thoughts.

T said...

Oh girl. I am SO sorry that you are dealing with this. Vent away!!! It is YOUR blog.

Wish I could give you a big hug!

Also, did you read Rachel's post about her cyst? I'm just wondering if some positive thinking could change things. Don't deny your pain when you feel it... just see if there's anything that you can be thankful and positive about.