It has been a very very long tough week. Well let's be honest the past 6 weeks have been rough.
Sick kids, sick me, back to sick kids.
Work has been DRAMA central. I belong to a union and there was so much drama they are now involved and there are weekly facilitated meetings to try to work everything out. The meeting on Friday made me so upset that I walked out crying with in the first half hour. I had to go text my mom for prayer. Then I sat at my desk and prayed. I was so upset. I am way better now but not really looking forward to work Monday. I did gain a little respect from some other co-workers. That is always a plus :)
If you read my last post life it's pretty much been the same this week.
The Sped teacher for Little Man is just not doing his job. A month from the IEP meeting and I still don't have an IEP in my hands. Sped teacher admitted on Thursday that he hadn't even started writing it yet. Are you kidding me? Oh and the paperwork I asked to have them fill out for testing ... they got it to me a day later than I asked and only half filled out. Really? I feel like they want my son to fail :( I know not the case but come on people do your job. There our plenty of teachers with out jobs that would take yours in a minute.
The Ex issues are bigger ... the school counselor rocks and came to my work to talk. She knows my time is limited and knew I couldn't afford to miss work. (God is good) The conversation went well and pretty much how I expected it to. Child protective services will be called. I am not even sure I want to go into full details here. I can say that I am anxious about the entire situation. One never knows how the ex will react to things. He either does an about face and pulls his head out of his butt (at least temporarily) or he gets angrier and worse in his behaviors. I am hoping for the first and that is is permanent.
Even with the kind of week I had I am still giving Praise to my Heavenly Father. :) Never an easy thing to do when all you really want to do is tell the world where to shove it and crawl into a bed. God is just growing me up (again). Building character in me. James 1 is a great example of giving praise in times of turmoil.
I will continue to Praise the Lord :) In good times and in bad.
Pluses about this week ...
Princess is feeling better (she was the latest sick kid in this house)
Even though I thought it was going to kill me to stand my Mommy ground I did it. :) I had grounded Turtle and was going to cave in due to exhaustion from my very long week and not wanting to deal with more attitude from her. I didn't cave and she apologized. YAY a mommy victory!
A very nice coworker who knows my financial situation has offered the kids and I a food basket from his church for Thanksgiving. He was afraid to ask if I wanted it cause he didn't want to embarrass me. :( I am so blessed that he did ask and that I let my pride go and excepted it. I have learned that God provides for me in the craziest of ways and I need to except when it happens.
Even though the meeting was tough at work. I prayed. I regained my composure. Went back in and was able to get my points across later in the meeting. A huge achievement for me as it is very hard for me to speak up in general ... let alone an environment that is very hostile.
DUDE I am alive :) Just getting to be alive is a pretty awesome thing. I survived the week.
I was looking at some comments before I posted this and I came across one that had been left under this post. Can I just tell you I don't remember writing that post but I do remember why I was so upset. I am so glad God let me go through that time. He let me go through that time to grow. Just like I am going through things now. Yes they are different now cause He is working on other things in me. What is even way cooler to me ... the comments I have been getting lately have all had the same theme. Single moms struggling and finding my blog. My blog that has given them hope and encouragement. God used me ... me! Little Ol' Me to bless other people. My story and struggles are helping others. God is using my struggles to not only build me up but to build others up. What an amazing God. :) I will take struggles any day of the week if it means that my struggles and my love for the Lord can help another person.
Oh another plus ... I finished all of my Excel homework. Just have my final exam on Dec. 5. I am so very happy that I do not have any more homework in that class. That is some hard stuff to learn. LOL
Off to bed ...
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Sick, Learning Disorders, and Ex Issues
I've been wanting to post for a week or so. I have stuff to say ... then I got sick. I have been sick for a week and let me tell you I am so over being sick. I am tired of coughing. I am so not doing well with minimal sleep (from the coughing). Having a 15 month old that is cutting 3 molars is not helping in the sleep area.
Life has been good. Even as I type this life is good. I have to had the BUT .... but it has been crazy. Seriously every time I move a step closer to God I find myself under major attack from the enemy. Life was nice and calm for a little while there. Now it is just crazy insane nonsense. Pardon my jumbled thoughts I think I might be a little rusty and typing out my thoughts. LOL
I am trying deal with Little Man probably having a learning disability and ADD. Even though I have always known in the back of my mind that he might have ADD it is still like a kick to the gut. I question what I may have done. Why didn't I have him tested sooner. Typical mom feelings when she finds out something is wrong with her child. Real quick background ... Little Man is not and has not been a typical child. I have known since he was about 2 that he was extremely intelligent. Not just intelligent but brilliant. At 3 I read him Go Dog Go before bed one night. The next night he told me what was on each page before I could even read it to him. School was a struggle. I had teachers calling me and telling me he was immature in Kinder and 1st grade. He couldn't sit still. He was a distraction. At the end of his 3rd grade year I was asked to come in and discuss Little Man's issues with reading and writing. I agreed to testing and we put him on an IEP. Three years later my son can't write at anything better than a 2nd to 3rd grade level. He is in 7th grade.
Is it the school's fault? Is it my fault? Why can't he write? No one explains to you the IEP process. As a parent you are thrown into a world that you don't understand and the school says they will take care of it. Learning accommodations are put on paper but I am learning that they have never been implemented. At least not for my son. If I had been in a better more stable place in the past 5 years I would have researched more for my son. I would have been paying attention to what was and wasn't happening for him at school and with his learning.
Three weeks ago I had his IEP meeting. Same complaints as usual. He can't write. He doesn't turn in his work. He fidgets in class. One teacher even asked if he could be using a computer in her class. My response was well it's in his accommodations but no one has ever offered it to him. GRRR!!! I left the meeting feeling frustrated. I went to work and started sharing with co-workers (I work for a school district). Advice started flying and now I am on a major mission to make changes for my son.
In the last 3 weeks I have learned through test score that my son took in the 4th grade that he is smart. I mean like uber freakin smart. At 9 years old my son tested at a college level for oral expression. In math he tested at an 8th grade level in 4th grade. Even though I have always known in my mom heart how smart he is it was still a huge shock to see it on paper. I sat in complete shock for about 15 minutes. Sadly those same tests showed that his writing ability was in the 1st grade level.
I am pretty sure my son falls into this Twice Exceptional category. After spending a lot of time talking with my son and looking back over the past few years I am pretty sure he has Dysgraphia. I am in the process of filling out paperwork to have him tested at the research center here in town. It's taken 3 weeks to even get the paperwork from them. It will be another 3 before an appointment is scheduled and then I am told it can be a 6 month wait before the actual appointment. :( In the mean time I have asked for an advocate to come with me to the school and help get more accommodations for him and actually have them followed.
Just the issues with Little Man have been draining on me. I feel as though I am a walking zombie with this cold. I keep asking the Lord for strength to get through everything and just when I think I am taking a step forward something else pops up.
Last night it was an email from Turtle. The kids go to their dads Sun-Tues. I pick them up on Wed from school. Normally Turtle has her cell phone but she just happened to get grounded before she left to the Ex's on Sun. So she basically tells me in her email that once again they were not allowed to go home after school. Turtle called him from the school office at 4 to find out what they were supposed to do. He told them to walk down to the supermarket and wait there. So they did and they waited 45 minutes. Since she didn't have her phone and it was getting dark she and Little Man walked to a friends house to call their dad. He got upset with them for leaving the store and yelled at them. She then said it took another 20 minutes before he picked them up.
This is not the first time he has told them they are not allowed to go home after school. In fact it happens almost every week. His reason why ... cause his girlfriend who he lives with is sleeping. She works nights. However her daughter who is also in middle school gets to go home right after school. Are you kidding me??? My children are left at school or to wander the streets for 2 hours after school but hers gets to go home??
So Turtle went to the school counselor today to discuss the problem. I spent 20 minutes talking to the counselor tonight on the phone. The only reason she did not call CPS was because she knows me and wanted to discuss the situation with me first.
So now the counselor is calling the Ex to talk with him. She agrees with me that my kids are not in a safe place when they are with their dad. (Someone remind me to blog about the 4th of July and what happened with the Ex) I am expecting major fall out with the Ex. He is either going to take his anger out on me, the kids, or all of us. :( The counselor and I agreed that if that is the case then a call to CPS will be made. :(
I would love to have my kids full time if it meant they were safe and my Ex would stop being a abusive jerk to me and them. However I don't think I have what it takes right now for a custody battle. :( I know that God has a plan in all of this. I know HE will take care of my kids and me. But gosh darn it I am human and I lack faith at times.
I believe I have rambled on enough for the night. LOL I need to take my coughing sick self to bed. I need strength emotionally, physically and mentally for the battle I will need to fight in the upcoming days and months.
Man I miss blogging. I need to start taking a day of rest and spend it doing things I love. Like sewing and writing on here. I know sewing isn't really resting but it is my happy thing that relaxes me. :)
Life has been good. Even as I type this life is good. I have to had the BUT .... but it has been crazy. Seriously every time I move a step closer to God I find myself under major attack from the enemy. Life was nice and calm for a little while there. Now it is just crazy insane nonsense. Pardon my jumbled thoughts I think I might be a little rusty and typing out my thoughts. LOL
I am trying deal with Little Man probably having a learning disability and ADD. Even though I have always known in the back of my mind that he might have ADD it is still like a kick to the gut. I question what I may have done. Why didn't I have him tested sooner. Typical mom feelings when she finds out something is wrong with her child. Real quick background ... Little Man is not and has not been a typical child. I have known since he was about 2 that he was extremely intelligent. Not just intelligent but brilliant. At 3 I read him Go Dog Go before bed one night. The next night he told me what was on each page before I could even read it to him. School was a struggle. I had teachers calling me and telling me he was immature in Kinder and 1st grade. He couldn't sit still. He was a distraction. At the end of his 3rd grade year I was asked to come in and discuss Little Man's issues with reading and writing. I agreed to testing and we put him on an IEP. Three years later my son can't write at anything better than a 2nd to 3rd grade level. He is in 7th grade.
Is it the school's fault? Is it my fault? Why can't he write? No one explains to you the IEP process. As a parent you are thrown into a world that you don't understand and the school says they will take care of it. Learning accommodations are put on paper but I am learning that they have never been implemented. At least not for my son. If I had been in a better more stable place in the past 5 years I would have researched more for my son. I would have been paying attention to what was and wasn't happening for him at school and with his learning.
Three weeks ago I had his IEP meeting. Same complaints as usual. He can't write. He doesn't turn in his work. He fidgets in class. One teacher even asked if he could be using a computer in her class. My response was well it's in his accommodations but no one has ever offered it to him. GRRR!!! I left the meeting feeling frustrated. I went to work and started sharing with co-workers (I work for a school district). Advice started flying and now I am on a major mission to make changes for my son.
In the last 3 weeks I have learned through test score that my son took in the 4th grade that he is smart. I mean like uber freakin smart. At 9 years old my son tested at a college level for oral expression. In math he tested at an 8th grade level in 4th grade. Even though I have always known in my mom heart how smart he is it was still a huge shock to see it on paper. I sat in complete shock for about 15 minutes. Sadly those same tests showed that his writing ability was in the 1st grade level.
I am pretty sure my son falls into this Twice Exceptional category. After spending a lot of time talking with my son and looking back over the past few years I am pretty sure he has Dysgraphia. I am in the process of filling out paperwork to have him tested at the research center here in town. It's taken 3 weeks to even get the paperwork from them. It will be another 3 before an appointment is scheduled and then I am told it can be a 6 month wait before the actual appointment. :( In the mean time I have asked for an advocate to come with me to the school and help get more accommodations for him and actually have them followed.
Just the issues with Little Man have been draining on me. I feel as though I am a walking zombie with this cold. I keep asking the Lord for strength to get through everything and just when I think I am taking a step forward something else pops up.
Last night it was an email from Turtle. The kids go to their dads Sun-Tues. I pick them up on Wed from school. Normally Turtle has her cell phone but she just happened to get grounded before she left to the Ex's on Sun. So she basically tells me in her email that once again they were not allowed to go home after school. Turtle called him from the school office at 4 to find out what they were supposed to do. He told them to walk down to the supermarket and wait there. So they did and they waited 45 minutes. Since she didn't have her phone and it was getting dark she and Little Man walked to a friends house to call their dad. He got upset with them for leaving the store and yelled at them. She then said it took another 20 minutes before he picked them up.
This is not the first time he has told them they are not allowed to go home after school. In fact it happens almost every week. His reason why ... cause his girlfriend who he lives with is sleeping. She works nights. However her daughter who is also in middle school gets to go home right after school. Are you kidding me??? My children are left at school or to wander the streets for 2 hours after school but hers gets to go home??
So Turtle went to the school counselor today to discuss the problem. I spent 20 minutes talking to the counselor tonight on the phone. The only reason she did not call CPS was because she knows me and wanted to discuss the situation with me first.
So now the counselor is calling the Ex to talk with him. She agrees with me that my kids are not in a safe place when they are with their dad. (Someone remind me to blog about the 4th of July and what happened with the Ex) I am expecting major fall out with the Ex. He is either going to take his anger out on me, the kids, or all of us. :( The counselor and I agreed that if that is the case then a call to CPS will be made. :(
I would love to have my kids full time if it meant they were safe and my Ex would stop being a abusive jerk to me and them. However I don't think I have what it takes right now for a custody battle. :( I know that God has a plan in all of this. I know HE will take care of my kids and me. But gosh darn it I am human and I lack faith at times.
I believe I have rambled on enough for the night. LOL I need to take my coughing sick self to bed. I need strength emotionally, physically and mentally for the battle I will need to fight in the upcoming days and months.
Man I miss blogging. I need to start taking a day of rest and spend it doing things I love. Like sewing and writing on here. I know sewing isn't really resting but it is my happy thing that relaxes me. :)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Addicted!!
Oh my goodness! I am not really sure how I came across my newest addiction. I think I saw it on a few blogs. Just the word. Nothing else. I needed to know what it was. I Googled it. Now I am ADDICTED!!
Have you been to Pinterest yet? Oh my goodness I could spend all day on there looking at all of the pin boards. I have found some amazing recipes, awesome sewing tutorials, and just some awesome cuteness. I started a wedding album with cute ideas ... you know for when my girls get married.
If you are on Pinterest already let me know and I will add you. I seriously think I might need an intervention ...
Other than my new addiction there is not one exciting thing happening in my part of the world. I mean unless you think them totally repaving my neighborhood. My car is parked 4 blocks away as we can't drive on the street. I am working on table pieces for a wedding .... I guess that is exciting. lol I am getting paid a little which is always nice.
I am off to sew
Have you been to Pinterest yet? Oh my goodness I could spend all day on there looking at all of the pin boards. I have found some amazing recipes, awesome sewing tutorials, and just some awesome cuteness. I started a wedding album with cute ideas ... you know for when my girls get married.
If you are on Pinterest already let me know and I will add you. I seriously think I might need an intervention ...
Other than my new addiction there is not one exciting thing happening in my part of the world. I mean unless you think them totally repaving my neighborhood. My car is parked 4 blocks away as we can't drive on the street. I am working on table pieces for a wedding .... I guess that is exciting. lol I am getting paid a little which is always nice.
I am off to sew
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Summer Sewing
So I was laid off again this past June. No big deal as I was number 2 on the recall list (I was recalled this week). I normally have summers off anyways so getting laid off just meant that I would receive unemployment this year. Which has proven to be very handy as I had no idea how I was going to pay for anything.
Anyways ... with all of my free time I have been sewing, sewing, sewing, and sewing. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE sewing? It makes me so happy inside. :)
The Princess has all sorts of cute dresses ...
Anyways ... with all of my free time I have been sewing, sewing, sewing, and sewing. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE sewing? It makes me so happy inside. :)
The Princess has all sorts of cute dresses ...
I love this fabric!!
Alice
Ariel
Minnie Mouse
Snow White
She has her very own line of Princess dresses to wear. :) Man I am so glad that God blessed me with another daughter. I love sewing for my kids but she makes sewing that much more fun.
My favorite project so far this summer has been the Mickey Mouse quilt. (Do you see a theme here yet?)
I am on a major Disney kick. I love Disney. I want to go to Disneyland like yesterday! It makes me feel all happy inside like sewing does. So I had this crazy idea to make a rainbow colored Mickey Mouse head quilt. I get so excited when I picture something in my head and it turns out even better. :)
Doesn't this just scream Disney World of Color? I want to take this to Disneyland and sit right in front of the castle and have a picnic. I still can't believe that God has given me such an amazing talent. This was a picture in my head. It was colored fabric on bolts in a store. It is now a quilt to cuddle under, have a picnic on, smile while you watch fireworks or your favorite Disney movie. I feel so blessed to be able to create and sew.
The Princess needs me :) She is standing here talking her sweet baby talk. Here is my plug for myself ... If you like any of the things I have made you can purchase them in my Etsy (<---- You know you want to visit) shop. I also do custom orders :) In fact today I will be making 35 table cloths for a wedding that is 10 days away.
No time for a quote today.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
It has been 8 months since I have written.
Kids.
School.
Work.
Sewing.
Church.
Life in general seem to keep me from here. When I started my blog it was mainly to write about life when I couldn't find any other way to deal with things. God now plays a huge role in my life ... blogging has taken a back seat. I miss my blog. I miss writing. I have been wanting to come back and write again just haven't found the time. Mini-me even said that I need to write again. Just to write.
So life is good. :) 8 months of life has passed and I can say pretty much drama free. I have been blessed countless times over the past few months. God really has been taking care of me. I have healed a few sore spots on my heart and life. I still have a lot more to work on. Areas I could write about and I hope to write about.
Maybe I will come back this evening and write more ... I noticed that someone missed me :) and I have a few new followers. I am glad that even though I don't blog as much as I used to my blog has been an encouragement to others. :) Praise the Lord for using my struggles to help others see that they can make it through!!
Princess turned 1 this past Friday .... and boy has she grown since I last wrote. Leaving you all with a picture of her. Off to make dinner, pick up the house and sew.
Kids.
School.
Work.
Sewing.
Church.
Life in general seem to keep me from here. When I started my blog it was mainly to write about life when I couldn't find any other way to deal with things. God now plays a huge role in my life ... blogging has taken a back seat. I miss my blog. I miss writing. I have been wanting to come back and write again just haven't found the time. Mini-me even said that I need to write again. Just to write.
So life is good. :) 8 months of life has passed and I can say pretty much drama free. I have been blessed countless times over the past few months. God really has been taking care of me. I have healed a few sore spots on my heart and life. I still have a lot more to work on. Areas I could write about and I hope to write about.
Maybe I will come back this evening and write more ... I noticed that someone missed me :) and I have a few new followers. I am glad that even though I don't blog as much as I used to my blog has been an encouragement to others. :) Praise the Lord for using my struggles to help others see that they can make it through!!
Princess turned 1 this past Friday .... and boy has she grown since I last wrote. Leaving you all with a picture of her. Off to make dinner, pick up the house and sew.
At the zoo 3 days before her 1st Birthday
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Fall & Baby B
Baby B will be dedicated Thanksgiving weekend. I decided that she needed a cute picture for the day. So we took a little trip out to a friends house to take some.
Who would of guessed that a 3 1/2 month old would love the leaves so much.
She was not very happy that we wouldn't let her eat them.
She made a dive for them and got a few. Which had us laughing.
After many attempts for her to sit on her own and keep the leaves out of her mouth we got a cute picture.
This girl is just just melts my heart. All of my kids do but you know what I mean. I wish I had more time to write but we have a busy day ahead of us. I have a nice line up of sewing jobs. (YAY!! Go Me!) I might actually get my sewing business off the ground.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Turning 36
In just a little over 4 hours I will be turning 36. I have been feeling good about this until this morning and I had a small panic moment. I am no longer in my early 30's I am in my my mid/late 30's. Whoa Nelly how did this happen. I don't really feel 36 ... I am not sure I look 36 ... and really it's not like 36 is old. I feel pretty darn good most days.
I started to feel better about turning 36 until I was on my way home from work. That 20 minute drive is just enough time to let my mind wander. Today it wandered down that yucky path I like to call Negativity Lane. I thought to myself ... I am going to be 36. I am single. I have 5 kids. What are the chances that I will find a good man? ... like a really good man. What are the chances I will get married before I am 40? I started to get down on myself and the chances that I will ever find anyone. Then I tuned back into the real world and heard the following lyrics blasting from my stereo ....
I started to feel better about turning 36 until I was on my way home from work. That 20 minute drive is just enough time to let my mind wander. Today it wandered down that yucky path I like to call Negativity Lane. I thought to myself ... I am going to be 36. I am single. I have 5 kids. What are the chances that I will find a good man? ... like a really good man. What are the chances I will get married before I am 40? I started to get down on myself and the chances that I will ever find anyone. Then I tuned back into the real world and heard the following lyrics blasting from my stereo ....
I welcome the sun,
the clouds and rain,
the wind that sweeps the sky clean
and lets the sun shine again.
this is the most magnificent life has ever been.
here is heaven and earth
and the brilliant sky in between.
blessed is this life
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive.
the clouds and rain,
the wind that sweeps the sky clean
and lets the sun shine again.
this is the most magnificent life has ever been.
here is heaven and earth
and the brilliant sky in between.
blessed is this life
and I'm gonna celebrate being alive.
~Brett Dennen
Why am I freaking out? I am a beautiful. I am strong. I am a pretty kick butt mom. Someone will come along and love me and my babies. :) If it doesn't happen before I turn 40 so be it. I've been single for four years ... what's another four.
36 you don't scare me. I am going to embrace you and squeeze every ounce of life out of you. The good and bad. Bring on the gray hairs (already found one this month). Bring on the wrinkles ... they won't be from crying, frowning or pouting they will be from the smiles and laughing.
I couldn't decide on just one quote to end my post tonight so I leave you with a few ...
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? ~Satchel Paige
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