Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The choas of my house.

It has been go go go since Baby B was born. The day she was born we put our application in for a house. Have been waiting patiently (ok not totally patient) to hear back if we were approved.

Signed away my house yesterday :( That was an emotional moment for me. Yes I actually cried.
Closing on the house is Friday. Yes as in like 2 days.

As of this morning I still hadn't heard about the house we applied for. About 10am I found out we were approved. PRAISE THE LORD!! Was told we could move in Friday. Was very excited.

As the day progressed I was told we can't move in Friday. UGH We are getting housing assistance and they have to inspect the house before we can move in. They can't inspect it until next week. NOOOOOO ....

Back to major praying. Where do I store my stuff for 5 days? Where do I live with 5 kids until it is inspected? Sigh

Then I am told by realtor that there might be a delay on closing. I will know more tomorrow. I asked her if it would be wrong of me to Pray that there will be a delay. LOL She said no and she is praying for the same thing.

It has been a crazy few days. Mini-me and Little Bird both have dance camp all week. Mini-me is at the studio 3 times a day. So she can't do much packing. Have friends here now doing the packing. Garage is pretty cleaned up. Have a huge pile on the side of the house waiting for a trailer to go to the dump.

I have total Faith in God that He is going to work this all out. Is it stressful? Yes
Am I glad that God is working in me and on me and that I am growing from this? Yes :)
How else would I be a better person if I didn't have these rough times to go through.

Baby B is a nursing champ. Seriously the girl loves to nurse. Maybe she is making up for being so small at birth. :) She loves to cuddle and be in my arms. Loves when I play worship music and sing to her. :)

She is beckoning me now. I promise when we get settled I will post her birth story and more pictures.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Just a quick pic ...

Just driving by my own blog to post a picture of the newest family member :) I am so seriously head over heals in love with this girl.
Thank you all for the congrats. :)

Baby B has arrived ..

One hour and one minute after my last post Baby B made her arrival in to the world. :)
She was born at 7:53 pm (PST).
She weighs 6lbs 4oz
She is 18 1/2 inches long
Apgars were 6 and 8 (she had some struggles)
and can I just say cuter than all get out. :)

She had a little trouble breathing and was a little blue but after some vigorous rubbing she got to crying and pinked up. :) She is a champion at nursing.

Mini-me got to attend the birth even after I originally said no LOL. I declined to cut the cord and let Mini-me do it. :) Talk about a special moment.

I will post pictures and a full birth story soon. Along with how I told The Coach and his reaction. LOL

Thank you all so much really for the positive comments and support. I really couldn't be more blessed in my life. :)

Oh and my other kids are IN LOVE with their new baby sister.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Guess where I am?

If you guessed the hospital you are the winner but there is no prize for this game. LOL
Went to the Dr. around 1pm my time. Had her check me and do another sweep of my membranes. Got me to around 4 cm and a free pass to the hospital. :)
Got here and checked in around 4pm. Water was broken about 45 minutes later. Since I had my water broken and wasn't super dilated it is going to take a little longer than my other kids but eh that's ok.

I'm having a baby!!!

I will post more soon :)

Thank you all for the support. It means so much to me.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My ESP, a Vent, and Baby/House news

Oh where to start ... Just over an hour ago I walked into Mini-me's room and said ...
"I have this very bizarre feeling that The Coach will contact me soon"

Came to my room sat on the bed with my laptop. Phone next to me and about 15 minutes later it lights up with a text from who else but The Coach. I screamed "Oh My Gosh" in such a way that Mini-me yelled back "Oh my gosh did your water just break?"

I told her no that she had to come look at my phone and she started freaking out. She accused me of contacting him LOL. It is a bit freaky that I have some strange ability to sense when things are going to happen.

So it's been somewhere between 12-14 weeks since of no contact on his part. Well minus the day I met him for lunch ... about 7 weeks ago now. That was the day he proceeded to tell me he wants to go to the rest of the Dr. appointments. After much prayer on my part I called and left him a message the night before the appointment. Texted him on the way to the appointment. I believe I posted all of this. Did he show? Did he call? Did he text? Oh that would be NO No and no. So in my eyes everything he said that day was a lie.

Now tonight at 10:30pm. 9 days before my due date he has the freakin nerve to text me and say the follow ...
"Hey I just wanted 2 check on u. Dont kno where u stand but I still wanna kno wuts goin on and be there. B nice 2 talk again. Hope you and Dani r healthy ... "
(umm yes that is exactly how he texted it to me ... He is a 35 yr old man that texts like he is 16)

Please forgive me Lord ... BUT ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME?? A text message. Not a phone call. At 10:30 at night. Not during the day or early evening when most people contact other people. He wants to check on me? For what? He has not had one ounce of interest since he got a new girlfriend. It would be nice to talk to me? Hmm well the last I checked talking meant you had to CALL not text. What could we possibly talk about? How he still hasn't gotten a job for the summer? How he promises to be around for Dani when she is born. Or how we need to work out a parenting plan? Oh maybe he will finally tell me he has a girlfriend. Oh oh oh I got it ... he wants to talk so he can tell me he misses me and the good times. HA HA HA And he hopes we are healthy ... uh huh I am glad that has been a huge concern the last 14 weeks.

Ok I feel way better getting that off my chest. I have not responded to his text. I paced back and forth in my hallway for a good 20 minutes. I vented a crap load to Mini-me who reminded me to Pray Pray Pray. I love that girl. I do not plan on responding to his text unless God gives me His words to say. I know that there is no way that I could respond in a nice way at all. He will get a phone call from me after the baby is born.

Speaking of the baby ... I spent most of my night contracting. Major ones that kept me awake and tossing and turning. I got about 3 hours sleep. And because this is my blog I am just going to be gross so if you don't want to read the gross stuff skip to the next paragraph now ... I lost a huge chunk of bloody show this morning and a ton more this evening and tonight. Seriously I hope I am making some progress on the dilating and effacing front.

I am going to call my Dr. in the morning and ask to come in and be checked. She is on call and said if I was having ANY contractions to call. LOL I believe that 4 in an hour counts and with the gross stuff I mentioned above it is worth a call. :)

I fully believe by this time tomorrow night (Thursday night) I will be holding my sweet baby girl. If I am not I will be very very surprised.

On the house front ... I found two places last night while I was online and called first thing this morning. One of them didn't except housing assistance which sucked cause the house is in the area we want to live. The second house "may" accept the housing assistance and it is about 15-20 minutes from where we live now. My kids would have to be driven to school everyday and my drive to work and the college would be long.

They got me in to view the house with in the hour of calling them. To my surprise the house is in a neighborhood that is adorable. There is a police officer in the house right next door. AND AND AND ... The house is exactly what I have been looking for (minus location). Size perfect. Lots of kitchen cabinets. Hardwood floors throughout. Two car garage (and it's large) with laundry hook ups in it. The master bedroom even has a small half bath. :-o That would mean no more waiting outside the bathroom door lol.

The lady at the property company was so so so nice. I explained everything to her. About being pregnant and due any minute with an induction set for Monday. I told her about the house selling and my credit situation. The housing assistance and needing to be out of my house by the 28th. She suggested writing a letter explaining my situation to the owner of the house and she will include it with our applications. She said she will pass it by the owner and the manager of the property company before I pay for the application fees. Just in case the owner won't accept the housing assistance. I had already planned on writing a letter but her suggesting it made me feel even better.

So I filled out the apps for Mini-me and I and wrote a letter and emailed it all to the lady. Now I pray that if it's the right house God will work everything out for us. :) I really don't want to be that far out from where we live now but I am totally trusting that God has this all taken care of.

I hope that my next blog post has a picture of me holding a baby girl. :) Or me updating to say that I am in labor and then me holding her. :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Oh Baby ...

I am officially 38 weeks and just shy of 4 days pregnant . A record in the land of pregnancies for me.

My Dr. has been on vacation since July 2nd and was very surprised to see me this morning. She said when she got home on Sunday night she went through the files to see if I had given birth and figured that somehow I had given birth the day before or was giving birth then and she hadn't been updated yet. We are just floored that I am still pregnant.

I have been dilated at 1cm and 50% effaced for over 3 weeks. Thought for sure with all of the contractions I would deliver weeks ago. However this sweet baby has decided she is hanging out now and likes it in there.

My Dr. went ahead and stripped my membranes today. Hoping to jump start labor as I have been cramping and contracting since Thursday. I wish I could report that I was in labor now but sadly I am not. I am having some more intense contractions but nothing regular. Well they might be regular but I am not timing them. If they continue for a but longer I will time them.

I spent most of my day walking. I walked the mall. Walmart. My neighborhood. I took my car to the car wash and vacuumed it out.

If this sweet baby decides to stay in I will be induced Monday morning at 8am. I am not super thrilled to go this route. The thought of pitocin to start contractions freaks me out. :( It means they won't let me up to move around much ... which I will not be happy with.

My Dr. is on call Thursday. She told me if I have ANY contractions that seem some what regular to come in and she will check me again. I think that if I have not had her by Thursday afternoon or show no signs of having her I am going to call the Dr. anyways and discuss the induction.

If I am dilated Monday morning to say a 3-4 then I will just ask her to strip the membranes again. If I am a 2-3 I am going to ask if we can start with Cervidal on the cervix to see if that will start things. I just hate the thought of jumping right into the Pit. :(

If I am lucky this baby will do what Little Man did. I went in on a Fri. was told to come in that Monday for the Cervidal. To everyones surprise I was at 4cm and in labor. :-o

That is my jumbled rambling for the day. Oh wait ... we still have not found a place to live. We have to be out of the house next Wed. Yes that would be 2 days after my induction. Oh Baby!! My faith is still there but I will be honest I am worried. Praying my heart out for a house.

Ahh one last thing ... No I am not telling The Coach about any of this. He will be called after the baby arrives. I don't want him at the birth or evening knowing I am in labor. Do I feel bad about this? For the most part no. I have a little tiny sliver ... I mean like one of those slivers you get but you can't see ... of guilt that he won't be there but that is just because I still love him and wanted the birth a certain way. He has chosen the path he is on ... not me.

There are 5 ladies at Church that know because I needed prayer. My friends Grr and L both know because they are my labor buddies. My mom knows well cause she is my mom and The Ex knows so that he can be prepared to take the kids. I am not telling any other friends or family members. I am trying to keep this as low key as possible.

Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows best what is good for us. ~Socrates

Friday, July 16, 2010

Joyful Summer Nights

It's been an emotional few days for me. I am seriously ready to meet this baby.
I have 11 days now to find a place to live and move out of my home of 11 years. I have yet to find us a safe place to call our new home.
Not having a job during the summer months always stresses me out. The lack of income is scary for me. I do have money set aside but with having to move and a new baby I worry.
I have God and that is where I have put all of my worries, stresses and fears. My faith is still intact and even though I see no hope I know that He has a plan for us and will take care of us.

On Monday it will be 11 years to the exact day that I gave birth to my sweet, cuddly, loving, Little Man. I am still in shock that he will be 11 and entering middle school in just a few short weeks.

In typical mom fashion I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. I have come to realize over the last year or so that I don't have typical kids. They don't ask for big parties so they can get lots of gifts. They usually want to just do a lunch or dinner as a family. They ask for one big gift and maybe a couple of smaller ones. What has really surprised me is that they have all started asking for me to make them gifts. It started with Little Bird last August when he asked for a Disney Cars pillow. Not a pillow you sleep with but a throw pillow with a special cover made by me. He asked for another pillow at Christmas time. Mini-me asked for a blankie this past month for her 19th b-day. I am talking like a blankie that she could carry around like a toddler would. With soft fuzzy fabric and a dinosaur print. She has been known to carry it in her purse.

So when I asked Little Man what he wanted it was not surprising to me when he asked me to make him something. He requested a new body pillow with a personalized pillow cover. The boy seriously sleeps with like 4 regular pillows and a body pillow already. He buries himself in them and blankets every night. I spent most of Tuesday and part of Wed. of this week printing off letter templates, tracing, cutting fabric, ironing fabric and sewing it all onto black fabric to make a 20 x 52 pillow covering. Little Man loves origami. He takes origami paper with him everywhere. So what better font to use than an origami font. His name goes across the pillow in shades of yellows and greens. Each letter looks like folded paper. I can't wait to give it to him. :)

He will be getting other gifts but I wanted to do something special for him this year. He asked for a skate party at the skating rink but being that I am 38 weeks pregnant I told him not this year. We live next to the Minor League Baseball stadium. So I surprised him tonight by taking him to the game. Not only was it Friday night Fireworks night but all four of my kids set a World Record. :)

The stadium hosted a Mi Koo Jackson night. At the end of the game everyone was invited out to the field to participate in the first ever large group Moonwalk. Guinness World Records people were on had to witness the account. The group had to do the Moonwalk for 5 minutes straight around the field. Unofficial count was 649 people. So cool to think that my kids just made a bit of history. Silly/fun history but history. :) And memories that they will surely never forget.

Tonight was a good night. I was complimented several times by the people around me about how well behaved my kids are. How nice it was to see siblings that all got along and loved each other. Oh what a great mommy moment. :) My heart swelled with even more love for my kids and my God for trusting them to me.

It's been a long journey over the past 7 years and even though I spent a good bit of time crying the last 2 days. I love life. I love my life. I love that even though it has had some really crappy times I am stronger. God has made a huge change in me and I love it. :) I think about sometimes going back and reading older posts but I don't need to. I can feel the changes I've made without having to go back. :) YAY ME!!

I noticed I have a few new readers/comment leavers. I am so excited about this. I did not start this blog for anyone but me. It was my outlet and still is. I hope that some of my trials and joys can help you along whatever path you are on. :) I apologize up front if I don't respond back to your comments or if I don't leave one on your blog. Do know that I read comments and blogs.

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~Author Unknown

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Be Still

I am not very good at being still. When life feels like it is spiraling out of control I need to do something. It is so hard to just sit and wait. God however has me on this path of being still. I have been on this path for a few months now and I have learned so much about myself and others around me. God really has done some major work on and in me.

I have to personally admit that I am a little tired of being still. LOL I am not questioning God or his timing/plan. I am just starting to feel panicked. I know that this is when He is telling me "HEY SHANNON ... You need to rely on me more now than ever. Trust me. Have Faith. I have it taken care of."
My response back goes something like this ...
"Umm yeah God I do trust you. I have seen everything you have done for me over the past few years but why oh why do you have to take me all the way to the edge like this? Oh wait I know why ... You are building me up. Refining me. Making me stronger and more patient. You are wanting me to fully rely on you no matter what. (In my small little kid voice) ... Please God can I just have this baby soon and can you bring me a new home before I am homeless? I want it to be your time and plan Lord but man I am human and really struggling."


We have to be moved out of the house in 20 days. We have about 15 days to find a place and get it approved for housing assistance before we can move in. I trust God! He really has taken care of me but I am human and I am having a lack of faith moment and starting to panic.

On the baby front I fully believe she has decided to take up permanent residence in there. Saw one of the partners at my Dr.s office today. I am still at 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. Her head is at zero station which is pretty darn low. That explains the pubic bone pain and probably the hip/back pain. You would think with her head that low the pressure would efface me more and dilate the cervix ... sadly no. :( On a good note ... I gained back the 2lbs that I lost plus put on another 1/2lb. I was officially 140lbs today. Total weight gain ... 20lbs. :)

What's really hard about this being still is I am worried about having a baby and moving with in days of each other. It's me. There is no man in my life to help pack. To help move. I have had friends tell me they will help with the move. As will the church. I am sure they will but that requires me asking and I suck at that. I have pride issues. Probably something else God is going to whip right out of me. LOL

On a fun note ... Both Turtle and Little man are playing in softball and baseball tournaments this week. Turtles first game was last night and man on man was it epic. Twice my Turtle was the girl that tied the game up. They had to play 3 innings to break the tie to see who went on to tonights game. Normally they have a 2 hour time limit on these games ... last night was just over 3 hours. Can't wait to see how tonights game goes ... hoping it it isn't as long. LOL It was hard to sit in 90+ degree heat and hold my bladder. LOL

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Still here ...

I wish I could update and say that I was holding my sweet girl in my arms. However she is still incubating inside of me. I have gotten some sleep the last 2 nights. Thank God! Well minus the normal trip or two to the bathroom. :)

I have done so much walking over the last few days. I am bored out of my mind with it. I know that when it is her time to come out she will. I am just so uncomfortable. :(

Next Dr. appointment is Thursday morning. My Dr. is out of town until the 19th so I get to see the other Dr.'s in the practice. Not sure how those appointments will go. Really what I am hoping for is labor tonight. :)

Tomorrow it is supposed to be 95 degrees. When I am not pregnant that kind of temp makes me sick to my stomach and usually brings on a headache. Top my day off with a softball game for Turtle at 5pm ... the hottest time of the day here. I am going to be one majorly unhappy & I am sure sick pregnant woman. *sigh*

Can't miss her game. I am that mom that will drop anything to be there for her kids. I have to drive her to the game since Mini-me will be attending to Little Bird at his Breakdance class. Only person left to take her ... The Ex ... seriously I think he has missed almost all of her games.

Alrighty it is bed time for me ... been slacking on the quotes with my posts ... makes me a bit sad.

When I do have this sweet little girl I will for sure update here as soon as I can. :) If I can't there is always Mini-me to do it for me.

Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. ~Russel Baker

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Pre Labor?

It is currently 11:17pm on July 4th.
It looks like this will be night number 2 of no sleep due to braxton hicks (contractions)

Last night around this time I headed to bed and was excited to sleep. HA!! I quickly passed out but it did not last long. I am guessing maybe 15 minutes or so. I felt a contraction and ignored it. Three of four later I decided to roll over and see if that helped. It didn't help. I tried to ignore them and rest between them but they were hurting.

I was in that half asleep half awake stage ... I finally broke down and looked at my phone for the time. Man I was bummed when I saw that it was only 12:30. I honestly thought I had been laying there for at least 2 hours. I decided to start keeping track of how often I was having them. No real method just lay in bed and when I felt one start look at the time on the phone. My great method let me know I was having them about 3 minutes apart.

Stupid me got excited because they felt just like the contractions I have had with all of my other kids in the middle of the night and then I sleep through them and have the baby the next day.

I was home alone and decided that I should not be. I called Mini-me about 1:30am and asked her to come home. (she is house sitting for The Ex while he and the other kids are on the coast for the 4th) She came home and went to bed. I had been up and walking around the house to see if they contractions would go away (they didn't) but when she came home I went back to laying down. Around 3am I started dozing off. At 4am my friend who is going to be with me for labor texted to see how I was doing. At that point I was having less contractions but major and I mean major cramping. :(

I managed to sleep from 4-6am. Then again from 7-8am. Decided to get up and try church as the main contractions had stopped. I was still cramping. :( I've pretty much cramped for the day. Some of it painful and some not. Came into my room around 4pm today and laid down. I was exhausted from no sleep and was feeling like contractions were going to kick in again.

I woke up after 8pm. :-o Feeling like crap. Wanting to throw up and really crampy again. :( Choked down some crackers and an english muffin. Started feeling a little better. Mini-me and I walked the 15 minutes to the stadium around the corner to catch the fireworks. Had a few contractions on the way but nothing I couldn't walk through or talk through.

Now here I sit. :( Feeling like I did last night. Wanting to cry. I can't do this for days on end. I hate feeling nauseated. I hate the general feeling of ugh/crampiness in my entire belly. :( If it was contractions dude I am so ok with that but it is just this sick to my tummy feeling.

I am back to struggling with The Coach and him being at the birth. I continue to pray for God to show me what I am to do. I have so many emotions about this that it needs to be it's own post all together. If I don't have this baby tonight I am sure I will write about it tomorrow.

Even with a 4 hour nap and it sounding like I am in a war zone with all of the fireworks going off I am going to try to sleep more.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I am here :)

I am here :)
I am still pregnant
Been super busy with Turtle and Little Man ... between the two of them we have had softball and baseball games pretty much every day.
If I am not at a game I have been trying to get sewing time in.

Had an ultrasound last Wed. and the baby is in the 43% for how far along I am. I was measuring 33 weeks and I was 34 1/2 weeks along. Dilated to 1cm.

Had an appointment yesterday and lost another pound. :( Can't figure out why I have lost 2lbs. I measured at 33 weeks still (I was 35 1/2 weeks) Dr. didn't seem concerned. Dilated to 1cm maybe a little more and Dani's head is super low (possible the reason why I measure so small?)

Even though the Dr. isn't worried about me losing weight, my fundus height, or that she measures small I worry. :( I am not by any means a big person. The Coach is pretty thin but he is tall. We were both way over 8lbs at birth and my other babies were average sized.
I am trying not to worry. I know that whatever happens God has planned out and is in control.

I have not talked to The Coach. He has made no attempt to contact me. His mom and I spoke after the ultrasound (she went with me) and she agreed that he needs to pull his head out of his butt and that if she was in my shoes she would not be chasing him around. It saddens me that he is missing out on all of this. I know that he thinks he will just step in when she is born and tell me how he is going to be in her life and he will try to bully me around but that is not going to happen.

Off to play the Wii for a few minutes lol ... then off to Turtles softball game.