Sunday, April 11, 2010

Hurt again ...

I don't have time or energy to post everything that has happened in the last few weeks. I don't want to cry anymore today ... although I am sure I will be shedding so many more tears over the next few months.

The Coach has a new girlfriend. As far as I know they have been together for around a month or so. Didn't seem to stop him from telling me he loved me or have sex with me 3 weeks ago.

I am crushed. My heart is broken. Confused. Betrayed. So many other feelings.

I am having this mans child. He wanted this child. He told me he would not leave me. Yet look he has moved on. Just like my ex husband did while I was pregnant with our son. Just like Mini-me's dad did ... while I was pregnant.

I want to give up so bad on life. Seeing him with her last night killed everything in me.

So now that I have had this happen to me 3 times. I am done with love. Done with trusting.

4 comments:

Debbie(single;complicated) said...

oh...I am so sorry!!! YOU are in such a hurting place..I hope my words are the right words in the right time..or at least words you may revisit at some point! These men...these choices they are all similiar! all wrong and all hurtful! These men ALL have something in common OTHER then you! I do not know what that is..but if you can find that out, figure out why you trust this 'type' of men..understand the patterns you fall into..THEN you will be able to trust again because you will know how to trust you!!

mysinglemomlife said...

It's been a while since I've surfed my single mama cohorts, so I'm a little out of touch. But...wow. My heart goes out to you today. There are so many words, but none that I feel would touch what's happening; that would help. I understand, though. Completely. It's my story, too. No matter the circumstances, God knit your babes into your womb. Each one He's predestined and He's got you, too, in the palm of His hand. You are in my prayers.

C said...

I hope you can gather the strength you obviously have inside you (it has gotten you this far) and find some focus. I hope you are talking to a counselor or therapist.

And a lawyer. This "man" needs to understand what his responsibilities are to you and your child. He needs a wake-up call if he's spending his free time dating at a time like this. What a jerk.

Just do yourself a favor and file this away so that when this disgrace of a man darkens your door again, you'll know enough to send him packing.

Nappy Kitchen said...

I went to the library a few weeks ago and stumbled upon Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man". I've never been a big Harvey fan. To my surprise, I could not put it down. It was so poignant and real. Take a hiatus from everyone who is draining the life out of you and read this book (along with continuing to read your bible). I think you'll get a clearer perspective. I know I am.