Thursday, June 17, 2010

Confirmation

Nothing like being on Facebook and seeing a picture of The Coach and his new girlfriend.
Confirmation that he has been with someone all along. :(

I will not lie I am sitting her crying and I hurt so bad. :( I had honestly hoped God was working on him. That he would pull his head out of his ass and see everything he is doing. Obviously not happening.

I don't want a man the way The Coach has been. I have never wanted a man that way. However I fell in love and now I am having his baby. I so wanted him to change.

I will not give up on God. I know he has the power to do anything. I will continue my walk with him and have Faith that someday I will have the man I deserve. If God plans on it being the Coach ... then there is a lot of work to be done in both of us.

This is the 3 time in my life that I have been pregnant and had the father choose another woman over me. It will take a major act of God to help me get over this.

I have been questioning if I would have The Coach in the labor with me ... right at this moment I want nothing to do with him at all. I honestly wish that he would just leave like Mini-me's dad did and that I can have Dani to myself. I don't want him at the birth. I don't even want to tell him when I have her. Selfish I know and I am talking through a huge amount of hurt right now but this is how I feel.

:(

5 comments:

MindyMom said...

I'm sorry you are hurting so bad. As you know, I went through a very similar experience. (LO's father was not w/me the entire pregnancy and had a profile up on Match.com the whole time) All I can say is now I am grateful; very grateful that I dont have that selfish bastard in my life (or LO's) on a daily or even monthly basis.

I did invite him to her birth but he didn't want to be there. When it came down to it, I'm REALLY glad that he wasn't there. Why would I want to spoil such a precious moment? And honsetly, you dont need the stress or negativity in the room with you for the occasion. I'm sure you have people who love you and show it who can be there for YOU while you give birth.

*Hugs*

Anonymous said...

I agree with MM; surround yourself with love and kindness for this little one's birth. Sorry that the ideal of a father-mother-baby triad did not work out. Now, you must be brave and wise about the spiritual energies that will support you both. Remember that Mary labored with Jesus under very hard circumstances. God bless and keep you.

cassee01 said...

I think you did the right thing by calling him about the appt - although he didn't take advantage of it and now, if you desire, I think you are totally in the right to exclude him because he didn't walk through the open door- you snooze u lose. I'm so sorry you had to see that picture, but as MM said perhaps it is for the best and a man that will want to be a part of your family and share in your love for god will come into your life when you are ready!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you are hurting, this just breaks my heart for you. I agree with MM too, you need love and kindness for this baby girl's birth. Unless he contacts you and expresses a want to be at her birth, I wouldn't make any further contact. You will heal, time will help. I promise. We women are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Elektra said...

It's so comforting to see I'm not the only one in this situation. I never thought I'd be having a baby with a man who would bail out. He too chose another woman over me after I became pregnant. And now treats me as if I am somehow the villain in all this. I have been hoping he would take an interest in the baby, but doesn't seem that he wants anything to do with us. I never in a million years would have thought he would turn out to be this kind of person. I am lucky that my ex from before still loves me and wants to be with us, but now I am cautious and just distrusting of men I guess. Maybe they mean it when they say it, but they change their minds too easily!! I have written some poems in my blog you might enjoy and relate to. Thanks again for sharing your heart.