Sunday, July 22, 2012

A New Season

I have known for a few months now that I would be sitting here writing this post tonight. You would think I would have an idea of what I want to say but I don't. So much time has passed since my last entry on here and so much has happened.
Let's see if I can do a quick time line ...
Dec. 2012 ~ Mini Me got engaged
Jan.  2012 ~ Work, college, kids, general life
Feb. 2012 ~ Wedding date set for July of 2012
Mar. 2012 ~ Spring Break in Ca. (Disneyland Whoo Hoo)
Apr. 2012 ~ Same as Jan. plus wedding planning
May 2012 ~ Again more of the same
June 2012 ~ Mini Me turned 21 :) Had our first beer together at a brewery. Started packing for to move houses and for Mini me to move out. Back to Ca. from June 26 to July 7 YAY more Disneyland and the beach.
July 2012 ~ Return home on July 7 from Ca. Pack remainder of house to move on July 10. Move falls through. Unpack most of house for family that will arrive on July 18 for wedding. July 18 family arrives, July 19 Little Man became a teenager, July 21 Mini Me became a wife ... Today July 22 The Royal Princess is 2.

The last 5 days have been so crazy that the quiet that is happening in my house at this moment is making me feel sad. There were 11 of us in the house. It's just Princess and I now. I have no one to talk to about all of the things on my mind.

Letting go of Mini Me was very hard for me. For the last 6 years she and I have been best friends not just a mother and daughter. When we started attending our church all we heard was how unique and special our relationship was. How others would love to have that with their mothers/daughters. Since the Princess was 6 weeks old Mini Me has been taking care of her while I worked. She picked up the other kids from school each day. She helped me with homework. She listened to me vent about work. Yesterday changed everything ... she will no longer watch the Princess or pick up the kids. She won't be down the hall to help me with a homework question or to listen when I need to vent. It's been just barely 24 hours and I miss her so much.

Silly in some ways because she is literally 10 minutes away and I can always text her but not the same. Her husband will be her best friend (as he should be). I've been preparing myself for this for the past 6 months but when this morning came and everyone left she wasn't here to talk to. I had a moment of crying ... Ok I had 2 moments. They were brief but I imagine that I will cry more this week. I have to tackle the moving issue and I am nervous because I can't call her to vent if anything goes wrong. I need a new friend ... so I am back to blogging.

I will put my words here on the nights that I need to get things out. As sad as I am that Mini Me and I will no longer have the same relationship I am excited for the new things ahead for me and for her. I am having a hard time explaining right now but I can say that I am in a New Season of my life. I am leaving all of the old stuff behind and moving forward. I don't know how long this season will last before a new one comes along. I am just going to embrace what I have right now and go with it.

The Princess is beckoning me to lay down with her so that is my time to end this. I can't leave without pictures though ....

Mini Me looking like a Royal Princess 

Princess ~ Taken at the exact time she was
born 7:53 pm July 22, 2012

Me ~ Ready to give my Mini Me away
I think I look pretty good ;) 

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~Anatole France


little old lady that lived in a shoe said...


I found your blog by typing in a crazy search single mom of 5.... I have been enthralled in your posts for hours!!! I am a married Mom of 4in a very bad marriage that I have stayed in because well... we have 4 children...soon to be 5... yes 5. I keep thinking how could I have stayed but then I look at my entire life in those faces and the joy they bring me I know #5 will do the same. I am so ready to leave and thought how can I ever ever do it but after reading your posts you gave me HOPE!!!! I can never ever thank you enough... your style of writing is so similar to mine I felt like God showed you to me... Thank you!!!

Alison said...
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