Thursday, February 19, 2009

No fancy title tonight ...

The boys are much better today. Which is a huge relief to me as I was pretty worried the last few days. They are still coughing but no fevers since last night. :)

I stayed home today and with in 2 hours of waking up I started losing my vision and had yet another migraine. I blindly searched for my Dr.s number and made an appointment for tomorrow. Three migraines in 6 weeks for me is not a normal thing at all. This one was just lovely with a new symptom of facial numbness. My eyes also burned so bad it hurt to shut them. So trying to sleep was just as bad as being awake.

My mom tried to tell me the migraines are stress related, hormones, my age (being in my 30's) and heredity (mom, dad, brother, aunt, grandma). I told her that I have been under worse stress in my life. You know like losing my dad and going through a divorce in a 6 month time period. It is possible that this one could be hormone related as I am due for my period but I don't think so. As for the age thing ... what like half way through my 30's my body just says "Hey let's have more migraines cause she is a year older now" LOL.

What is bothering me besides this new frequency of them is the new symptoms that have come along with them. I have always had aura's (since my very first one at 16). The auras have always freaked me out but they are longer now. Sometimes I can see auras and lose my vision for close to an hour. The facial numbness today was weird. The last 2 migraines I have had what feels like a bulging in the right eye and my peripheral vision is gone. This is lasting around 24 hours. Today I also felt like I was just going to start convulsing. Like if you have ever seen anyone have a seizure and how their body jerks around ... I felt like that on the inside today. *sigh* I am also just exhausted. I slept for a good 3 hours today but I feel like I haven't slept in a day or two.

I am sure the crying I did today did not help my energy level. I cried cause the stupid Electric Company lady was rude to me. I cried cause I took offense to some work email a coworker sent me (I was checking it from home this morning). I cried cause I don't want to miss a 3rd day of work this week. I cried when I went to work today for 20 minutes to talk to the Principal to let him know what was going on.

That last part of my crying was the best though. It took everything to get out of my bed and go talk to him. I was upset about the coworker stuff and the missing work so much this week. I couldn't even sit down and talk to him with out crying. I must have looked funny sitting in his office with my sunglasses on, hair a mess and sobbing my eyes out. This man really intimidates me ... that was until today. As I was trying to tell him my issues he stopped me and asked me if I knew his story. I told him no ... He proceeded to tell me that he was a single dad up until 2 and half years ago when he married his now wife. His ex wife is a functioning alcoholic and he has raised his daughter since she was 2 (she is 13 now). He told me to stop worrying and take care of myself and my kids. He then told me "Shannon it's just a job". I told him it was very important to me ... that I have never had a job I enjoyed so much that. One that I look forward to coming to daily. He told me again "It's just a job". He shared a story about how he felt the same way until his daughter was 8 and ended up in the hospital from the flu. It was then he was like screw it ... it's just a job and my daughter is way more important. I thanked him so much for understanding and we talked for a few more minutes before I left.

I took a step today with my boss that I was not able to do at my last 2 jobs. I feel a little lighter and refreshed with in myself right now. I feel like I may have just grown a little more and I like it. :)

Hearing his story reminded me once again that I am not alone. I could start a whole new post on this last line ... should do that tomorrow.

Taking my headache to bed ... to bad headaches don't cuddle very well. ;)

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live. ~Mortimer Adler


Anonymous said...

Well I sure hope you feel mo betta soon!!!
My bride is named Shannon, I'm for it.

T said...

Aw honey! What a great story about your boss!! See? If you hadn't been going through this, you may not have had this wonderful moment with your boss. That will make your job even better!

Take care of yourself. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Single Mom Seeking said...

I'm simply impressed that you were able to have a real good deep cry. Good for you, wish I could do that more.