Tuesday was my 1st day back at work. Talk about killer emotionally. I have never had to leave one of my babies at this young of an age. Mini-me I left when she was just over 3 months. The other 3 I never had to leave. Poor Baby B was just 7 weeks yesterday. I have never had to pump my breast milk before and that was not an easy thing to get going. Mini-me is a rockin older daughter and takes care of Baby B every day while I am at work. The first two days were rough on both of the girls. I came home to some crying. :( The last two days have been better. I even have the pumping thing down at work. And let me just tell you pulling your boobs out at work and attaching a suction machine to it is pretty darn awkward. LOL
I am still looking for a new job as I am not fully happy with the position I am in. If I could transfer back to where I was 2 years ago I would be so very happy. As much as I want to go back I know that God has me where I am for a reason. Not sure what that reason is but I know he has some sort of plan.
The Coach has made contact with me once I believe since my last post. See I am a bad blogger I can't remember anything I posted last time. He still hasn't seen Baby B since she was 3 days old. Honestly I like it this way. I don't need or want his abusive behaviors in our lives. I have filed the paper work with the DA's office to get child support going ... however I don't think I will ever see any money from him.
Hmm what else has been going on ... I am still poorer than poor. Phones were turned off for a day as I couldn't afford the bill. Scrounged every last penny we had to get them turned back on and still have money for rent. I am praying about how I will pay the Oct. rent. I only get paid once a month, on the 15th. I won't get my first paycheck until Oct 15. This will be an interesting few months playing catch up on bills and such.
I have been thinking about filing bankruptcy. Spoke with an attorney but she wants $1500 to do it all. If I had that kind of money I would pay some of my bills. LOL I can try to file with out an attorney but I am nervous about screwing it up. :( Something needs to be done soon though.
I swear someday I will get around to posting Baby B's birth story. :) Trying to adjust to going back to work. Just when I get this routine down I will start classes again at the college. Ha ha ha ... yes I am that crazy. I am taking classes online this term so I don't have to be away from home.
Hi to my new readers :) I hope you enjoy reading my ramblings.
I am off to cuddle my sweet little one some more. She is curled into a ball on my chest right now.
You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God. ~Author Unknown
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4 comments:
I just so adore your blog. I honestly used to feel like the only single mother.. I can relate to just about everything you write (including Coach, the ex.. money.. returning to work.. phone being shut off LOL).
And your blog is sooo honest! This really is what it is like to be a single mother.. the good, the bad and the ugly!! : )
Crystal
Thanks for sharing. Love the transperancy.
http://youcanfacetodaybecausehelives.blogspot.com/
I am so happy i came across your blog. i was surfing the web one night, feeling like the only person in world trying to raise 5 babies on my own...and low and behold, i found this blog! After reading your posts i see that we have soooo much in common. I too had a baby just last year, she just turned one in july, and my oldest is turning 17 in december. I have 5 girls, and an extream deadbeat, abusive, pay nothing, do nothing father...i mean, he wont even buy milk! So i run the day to day, week to week, year to year, solo. Some days it gets real frustrating. I am also challenged with the big decission to go back to work. I never left any of my kids in daycare, and im just terrafied to put baby m in daycare, but with money being hard to come by, I just might have no choice in the matter. I too need to move out of were i live, as we are all hauled up in a 3 bedroom apartment, but with no job, i really dont think i can afford rent in a house...hmmmm...got to figure something out.I must say, you realy are giving hope to many other single mothers out there who feel alone, and at times like they are loosing there minds, I know i feel that way some days! But at the end of the day, when i see all my beautiful kids sitting around, i realize how blessed I am that God has givin me the strength and perserverence to be able to stand on my own and raise these beautiful children. Thank you so much :)
I am so stressed out my fiance was over whelmed with bills, me, kids rent car payment etc. and wants a break in our relationship. I am bassically a single parent now and i feel so hurt by everything going on in my life. He says he still loves me and cares for me but he wants us to be happy. I don't know how the best way to be strong about this is. I have to be strong for my 2 boys Im 27 years old and i need help. Any advice on how to make it on my own
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