Monday, February 16, 2009

When the kids are sick and its the exs night

I am so ANGRY right now!! Twice in the last week I have either had to walk away from a fight with My Ex or I had to hang up the phone on him. GRRR

So I asked to have the kids back a day early(Wed instead of Thurs) last week so I could do something special with them. Of course My Ex agreed as he is always complaining he doesnt't have time to do his homework when he has the kids. During the evening while hanging out with my kids Turtle complained of not feeling very good. My mom heart told me that she would be staying home from school the next day. Sure enough she had a temp of 101 Thursday morning. I sadly had to go to work and leave my Turtle at home. I sent My Ex a text to let him know that she would be home Thursday and Friday from school. I have a strict rule in my house that you must be fever free 24 hours before returning to school. My Ex who is in school and gets done with classes by noon could not stop by either day and check on Turtle. He could only make a phone call to her once each day to make sure she was ok. I on the other hand came home on my lunch Thursday and called a billion times. Friday I could not come home as I give my car to Mini-me. I called Turtle every 2 hours and made her take her temp.

On Sat. Turtle did not have a fever and we all went to dinner. By Sunday morning her fever was back full force and she spent most of the day in bed. I should state that she also has a very lovely cough and now a gunkified nose issue. We skipped Church as I felt guilty leaving her home alone again. Around noon as I was getting ready to leave to do some shopping Little Man wanted to shower. When he got out he proceeded to put on footie jammies and wrap himself in a blanket. *sigh* I knew right then and there what was happening. Took his temp and he was at 102. :(
Mini-me watched Turtle and Little Man while Little Bird and I went and did our shopping.

I sent a text to My Ex after I took Little Mans temp. I let him know that now 2 of the kids were sick. I did not expect a response back as I knew that he and his girlfriend went away for the weekend but it still angers me that he could not take 5 minutes to call. Here it is Monday afternoon ... 24 hours later and I finally get a text from him. His text said he would be here at 5 to get them. I didn't respond and I didn't tell the kids to pack their bags. I knew what was coming next ... it is the same thing that happened a few weeks ago. He calls me to ask how the kids are doing. I tell him that Little Man has a fever and that both he and Turtle have coughs. He asks if they are going to school tomorrow and I tell him no. Again are you kidding me?? They are SICK!!! Before he could even ask I said I would just keep them. He does not want them when they are sick. Doesn't see any point in bringing the cold to his and his girlfriends house for them or her daughter to get when they can just stay home here tomorrow. GRRRR How about loving your kids and taking care of them???

He could tell I was upset and he tried to explain to me that it was the best thing to do. I told him that he was missing my point. That I have been with sick kids for 5 days as a SINGLE parent but he would never know anything about that as he won't take the kids when they are sick and he wouldn't have to do it alone cause he has a girlfriend by his side to take care of things. He told me he would get Little Bird tomorrow. I told him that I would let the kids know he won't be coming to get them. I could hear that he was letting girlfriend listen to me which annoys the heck out of me. I told him I would take care of the kids and hung up on him.

I must say I am not jealous of his girlfriend or the fact that he has a relationship. I am just pissed that he never has to be a Single parent. He never takes them if they are sick. He does not pay the Co-pays. Never has to get the Motrin or cough medicine. He does not worry about them all night or get up when they cough, cry or moan out of feverish pain.

With in minutes he texts me that he really does want to help. Oh yeah I felt that help over the last 5 days. He now wants to come get Little Bird and he wants to bring the other kids some food and entertainment. I did not respond so he called the kids phone. Turtle told him not to bring anything. She told him they would be fine.

Of course Little Bird is upset. He told Mini-me that he wasn't sick and why couldn't he go. :( I should probably let him go but I am thinking Ex just texted that to me to act nice and that Little Bird will have a fever by the morning. He is acting a bit cranky and it seems strange but that is what my Mom heart is telling me.

I know that I should not be this upset. I should be happy that I get more time with my kids even if they are sick. I honestly know that they will be better taken care of here with me even while I am gone at work tomorrow than they would be at their dads. I just keep telling myself that one day my kids will look back and see that I put them before everything while their dad put them last. And even if they don't see that at least it gets me through moments like these. ;)

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children. ~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family


Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear that the kids are sick. My Ex is the same least yours called to check on them. Mine won't even do that. I'm always torn because I want to be the one taking care of them when they're under the weather, but at the same time, I think he should have to wipe their noses and clean up the puke once in a while too. Mine is supposed to pay half of "medical expenses not covered by insurance" but he's always very careful about what he reimburses me for. When they had strep, I got the prescriptions filled at the pharmacy and also picked up Motrin and OTC cough medicine for them. It was all on the same receipt but he only paid half of the prescriptions instead of the whole bill.

Try to get some rest yourself so that you can stay healthy and take comfort in the fact that you know your children are being well cared for. I know if my Ex ever did have them when they were sick, I'd worry myself to death the whole time.

T said...

Oh honey... you should start taking some echinacea and make sure the others who aren't sick are taking it as well.

Big hugs!