I'm here ... Really I am

I can't seem to catch a break the past few weeks. So after my post last Friday I was hoping my evening would be better. Heck I was hoping for a nice weekend. I did not get a nice Friday night and my weekend was confusing, painful and frustrating.

Trying to keep this all short as I have to get to sleep (which I don't seem to be getting enough of). Friday night I was going to meet Select Friend for a beer. I had 1 hour to talk with him and hang out before Mini-me needed my car to go do something. The kids were pushing each others buttons as I left the house but that is nothing new when I want to leave to do something by myself.

I was not even to the end of the street when Mini-me calls my cell crying and tells me that I have to come back right now. I ask why and she informs me that Little Mans head is bleeding all over. I wish I could say that I was very patient and calm but I was actually pissed off. I did my share of yelling at them.

When I walked in I found Mini-me and Little Man on the kitchen floor both crying. She was holding a wet wash cloth to his forehead. There was blood all over the floor, his hand and his shirt. Turtle was standing there looking helpless. I made the girls clean up the mess in the kitchen while I took Little Man into the bathroom to clean him up and see if a trip to Urgent Care was going to be needed. Of course it was going to be needed as that is my life. The Dr. did not stitch him up or even use liquid stitches (which I really wish he would of). No he used some tape and pinched it together and said that should do it. GRR Little Man has a good scar now right at the edge of his right eye brow.

So I guess what happened was Little Man wanted to call me right after I pulled out of the driveway. Mini-me was pissed at him so she "tossed" him the cell phone that was on the counter and it hit him in the face. Let's just say this mom does not believe that the phone was tossed and I let all of my kids know just how angry I was with them. Really I just wanted 1 hour of time with a friend to talk. It could of been worse ... so I will be thankful it wasn't. (I just reread the last few lines and I feel like a selfish mom in a way. Makes me sad.)

Saturday I ran away from home and went up to see The Jeans. (The kids were going to their dads for the night and for Easter.) I debated the entire week if I should go and see him. I am very confused and frustrated with the way things are going between us. This really is a story all in itself for another time. We spent a few short hours together before he left for work for the night. It was very weird to be in his place all by myself. My intention was to do my homework. I put it off until midnight as I was struggling with a paper I had to write. I cleaned his kitchen and made his bed instead. I am really good at procrastinating.

He came home from work the next morning and we talked for a bit and had a bit of fun. ;) Which left me feeling overwhelmed with emotions I was not ready for and could not handle. I left his house upset and crying. Driving home for 2 hours gave me a lot to think about. I am still not sure where we stand. However I do know that he cares enough to offer me money to pay my Emergency room visit co-pay.

Oh yes lucky me was home long enough to make the Easter ham and pull it out of the oven before I turned to Mini-me and told her that I needed to go to the Emergency room. I get UTI's and Kidney infections very easily. This one came on so fast and painful I literally thought I was dying. Only 45 minutes spent in the ER. Lots of good drugs to keep me out of work for 2 days.

Ahh I can't forget the mystery rash that appeared on Turtle on Sat. About an hour after I ran away Mini-me calls me and tells me that Turtle has a rash on her chest and her foot. I ask the usual questions what does it look like? What did she eat last? What soap did she use in the shower? (she had just taken one). Everything seemed normal and she was breathing fine. I told Mini-me to let the Ex know when he came to get them. Nothing I could do when I was already an hour away.

When I was leaving for the ER the Ex was dropping off the kids. I was floored when I saw that Turtle had a rash that covered her entire body including her face. She said it was not bothering here but I knew it meant she would be staying home on Monday (good thing I had a kidney infection and had to stay home). Took her to the Dr. on Monday to find out that she had a reaction to the Amoxicillian she was taking for the strep throat she had 10 days before. *sigh* Nine days into the medication before she had a reaction. She will not be taking that medication again.

So my work week was short as I missed Monday and Tuesday. It was crazy busy though and the kids at work were out of control. College sucks when you are sick. I managed to make it to my classes but don't remember much.

This being a single mom, working full time, and going to college thing is very time consuming. On top of all of that I am still working very hard on getting my house organized before my mom gets here. I keep reminding myself that I can do this and it will get easier. I just need to find a routine and I will be fine.

I am going to shut up now ... I really need to find a way to sleep. My mind is constantly going and I can't ever seem to shut it down. I hope to get more blogging time in this week. Really I have to blog ... to get the A grade in one of my classes I need to "journal" at least 2 times a week.

At the end of the day, a loving family should find everything forgivable. ~Mark V. Olsen and Will Sheffer, Big Love, "Easter"

Spring Break Comes To An End

As soon as I hit send on this post my Spring Break will be over and I will tuck myself into my bed. I had a very productive week and I am happy to say that I never felt like I was going to fall into a funk.

I started off my week by working on the hallway flooring. For the most part I am finished with them. I need a table saw to cut the boards length wise to finish off the last row against the wall. I am going to ask if I can use the saw in the Shop class at work. Can't see why they wouldn't let me.

Took most of Tuesday because I spent my entire night on the phone with the Jeans. We talked until 5 in the morning. I feel like those talks are so eye opening for both of us.

Wed. I finished up the hallway and cleared off the bookshelf at the end of it. Four medium sized boxes off to Goodwill. I love how the hall looks with the floors (almost) done and the bookshelf organized. Mini-me and I went out to dinner with each other and when we got home we tortured the cat. He likes to climb on the car the minute we pull in. If you put your hand to the window he runs to it and rubs himself all over trying to get to your hand to be pet. We are mean ... we sat there for 5 minutes teasing him. Had some beer in the fridge so I grabbed one and went to town on clearing out the crap in my room that I didn't need.

Hallway floors

Thursday I grabbed some left over paint that was out in the garage and painted my room for the first time in the 10 years that I have lived here. I got rid of the TV and stand that was at the end of my bed and the bookshelf of fabric/dolls. There is now just a bed and a desk. So much nicer than it was before. I did manage to break my bed in the process of moving it. I have owned it for just a little over a year and of course the warranty is expired. They wanted $100 to replace the rail that broke and they don't deliver it or put it on the bed. I said screw it and got creative. I had some wood in the garage so I made a box and used it to hold the rail up on the bed.

I have to admit I am a bit embarrassed to show what my room looked like before I tackled it but here I go anyways ....

Before (wall by the door)

After (wall by the door)

My room is no longer a freakish blue/green puke color. It is a wonderful tan and I love it. Still have some work to do on it. Like make curtains and put in the wood floor. The dolls are now homeless. I am going to end up selling most of them. A few will be kept as they were in a commercial the kids and I were in. (Yes I've been on TV nationwide and not for America's Most Wanted). The bookshelf is now in the closet in the living room and all of the fabric is folded nicely. I even had room to store my sewing machines (all 3 of them). If you look carefully you can see the box I made to hold the bed up. Damn I am crafty!!!

Friday before the kids came home I went and picked up my books for my classes. Totally freaking out as I start school tomorrow. Kids and I had a pretty chill night together. Nothing exciting.

Saturday I took them out to Monsters vs. Aliens. They said they all really liked it. I can't say I really liked it and I can't say I hated it. It had some funny moments. Mini-me was totally awesome and watched the kids so I could go have dinner with a friend. Which turned into a fun night with a few other people. I got home after 2 this morning.

Today we got creative and made a video to enter a contest on YouTube. Lowe's is having a Spring Dream Challenge. I could so use some new items to keep the outside of my house in nice condition. The kids and I had a ton of fun coming up with our entry and making it. I love when my kids get creative. I love it even more when something like this comes out of being creative. The bonding & laughing we did today was just awesome. I think I am going to upload all of the bloopers to my YouTube account. Of course all of you lucky readers get to see the video here first ....

Good-Bye Spring Break 2009 I have enjoyed my time with you. Thank you for the wonderful memories.

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Instruction Book

Hallway Flooring, Power Tools and Dad

I hate having so many things to say and not knowing where to start. This seems to be a common problem for me. My brain very rarely has a moment to process one thought before I have moved on to the next. I sat down on my bed tonight intending to post one thing but my mind was going a million miles and hour and I am already ten thoughts down the road. I think the easiest way to get them out tonight is like this ....

1) The hallway is half way done.
2) I love power tools ... really I get excited and a bit turned on when I use them. ;)
3) If my dad was still alive he would be so proud of me.


Ok now let's see if I can get those out into paragraphs that make sense.

My goal today was to get the hallway flooring started and I did just that. It would be possible for me to finish it tonight but my back started hurting. Plus there was a beer in the fridge that wanted me to drink it. I didn't want to hurt its feelings. I am not sure anyone really wants to see pictures of my hallway floors halfway done but I am still going to post one. It's my blog get over it! And cause if I am ever down on myself I can go look at it and remember that I am really awesome.

My hallway ... don't be jealous




Oh yes I love power tools. I am not talking the ones you get at places like this .... Although those excite me also and that is another post all together. I am talking drills, nail guns, table saws, etc. When I started this flooring project a year ago I had to decide between renting all of the tools I would need and purchasing them. It was pretty much an easy decision ... I had to own my own power tools. I have to say that I get such a rush when I use them. Honestly I have to admit that I get aroused. If there was a man around when I was done using my tools I am sure I would jump his bones and do very dirty things to him. I am not sure why I feel so excited about using power tools and working on my house in this way. Maybe it is a power thing ... like I feel more powerful. Maybe it is a confidence thing ... I am able to do more than I give myself credit for. Maybe I am just a kinky freak that is turned on by power tools. Hee hee hee Who knows.


And with weird awkwardness after the last paragraph I will now talk about my dad. As I was working so very hard on my floors I had to stop and miss my dad. I was also so very thankful for him at that moment. It was my dad who taught me how to do things like this. My dad was a Handy Man in every way imaginable. He could design it, build it or fix it. The house I grew up in started out with 3 bedrooms and 1 bath. Dad turned it into a 4 bedroom 1 1/2 baths with a kitchen that opened up into the living room. I often helped him with what he was doing. Not a joke when we bought the house it had tiles on the ceilings. The kind you see in old school classrooms. Stapled right to the drywall. I spent hours with him tearing them down, scraping out staples and then sanding. When he tore down the funky wood paneling in the living room and put up drywall I was there helping. Electrical, plumbing, drywall, and more I was there by his side. Soaking it all up to take it with me down the road. Oh and I can change my own oil and probably the brakes on a Volkswagen if need be. He also taught me how to crochet. He really was a Handy Man.

He would be so proud of me for doing this on my own. So Dad ... wherever you are ... Thank you for everything you taught me while you were here. I can only hope that I can pass these wonderful lessons you taught me onto my kids. All 4 of them. :)

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland

It's Oh So Silent

No music. No movie playing in another room. No kids talking, laughing screaming, fighting. No humming noise from the dishwasher, washing machine or dryer. There is only a cat purring next to me. It is so very silent around here.

The Turtle, Little Man and Little Bird are gone for the week to "Cousin Camp". My Exs Grandmother hosts "Cousin Camp" every Spring Break. Mini-me has taken my car and gone to work. I am never really sure what to do when I am this alone. Over Christmas break I fell into a major funk. The kind where you get out of bed to shower and then put jammies on and get back into bed. Don't answer the phone or talk to anyone. Your thoughts pulling you in deeper to the funk that has grabbed a hold of you. Mini-me took care of me and told me to get up. I ended up texting The Jeans and that was the first time I had seen him and months.

I have one full week without work and 3 kids. I would love a road trip to go see The Jeans but he is working overtime so that isn't going to happen. I refuse to get into a funk. No way can I go there and waste a week of my life.

Yesterday I spent 9 hours cleaning. Really it was a purging of more junk and rearranging of furniture/sewing stuff. My house looks 100% worse than it did when I started yesterday. I've spent a few hours today working on the floors.

I think I forgot to mention that I am insane. Last year (as in last March) I had the great idea of purchasing and installing wood floors in my house. I am doing it by myself. No contractors or friends helping me. Well I have put Mini-me to work a few times. The living room was finally finished this past December. It had to be finished for Christmas. The poor hallway has been naked for a year now. Just subflooring.

Today I have moved the bookshelf (so now there are books in several boxes in my room and a bookshelf in the boys room) and layed out the lining and have started putting in the flooring.
I am taking a break because the compressor and I were not getting along.

My mission is to finish the hallway sometime tomorrow early morning. It would be cool to get it done today ... which really is possible if I got off the internet. I am thinking big this week. I am tackling my room also. I doubt I will get to the flooring in here but I hope to get the walls painted. Next month will be my 10 yr anniversary living in here in this house. My room is the only one that has never been painted. It is ready for some lovin ;). I am ready for it to be my little place to get away.

Off to send an email, put on some music and lay down some kick ass wood flooring. Expect pictures later.

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. ~Author Unknown

16 Week Challenge ... Week 1 down :)

If you are new to my Challenge check out this post here ...

I originally planned for Sundays to be my update day but I had other things on my mind that needed to be taken care of. I hope to update this Sunday about how this week went.

As I mentioned in the original post about this challenge I was going to take pictures of my progress. That is exactly what I did. I have to admit I am a little embarrassed about how bad my house really is. When I see it in pictures I literally shudder.

A few pictures ...

One side of the bathroom cabinets ... Before

After :)

Saturdays trip to Goodwill :)

Isn't my bathroom a lovely shade of brown and blue?? I had this great idea to paint it to look like the ocean. No I was not on drugs but I almost wish I could say I was because it is hideous. ;) That above pictures are only one half of the bathroom cabinets. It is a double sink with tons of under sink storage. The other side was cleaned out in Jan after the dog we had at the time managed to jump on the counter (it was a doxie) while we were gone and turned the sink on. I had some clothes in the sink at the time. Not only did the sink overflow but one of the pipes leaked onto everything in that cabinet. One full bag of trash was thrown out from the cabinet pictured above. I also sent one box off to Goodwill.

I also worked on the bookshelf at the end of the hallway but don't want to post pictures of it until I am completely done with it. My girls tackled their room with out a fight and they worked together. I am thinking they may have been possessed for a brief amount of time. Not complaining at all mind you but I was a little scared. ;)

Saturday was our Goodwill drop off day. Adding to the pile from earlier in the week ... One more trash bag of clothing (I think), two postal boxes (bathroom stuff and the bookshelf), and one medium size bag with toys in it. I am thinking that I did pretty good for one week of purging.

Remember my struggle with letting Little Birds old Converse go ... I am happy to report that they made it to Goodwill and I did not cry one bit. :) Now if I can only convince Mini-me to let the two bags of Beanie Babies go.

I started cleaning the boys room tonight. Besides the garage this room scares me the most. It really looks like a tornado hit it. The hard part about this room is that Little Man has a very hard time letting go of anything (understandable as I think he feels like so much has been taken from him in his short 9 years of life). I will be working on the room when he is not here. Keeping only the stuff I know that he would notice missing. I feel bad for doing it this way but watching him cry and fight with me over everything is so hard. He has been known to pull things out of the trash and hide them so I can't get rid of it.

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. ~Henry Ford

Here is a picture of how cleaning the boys room went tonight ....



No idea where the eye came from but Mini-me and I could not resist a little fun with it. No I didn't throw it out. I was hoping to find another one like it in the room so I could have some real fun.


Oh oh oh ... Grocery shopping was done on Sat instead of Sunday due to Little Man having a basketball game. The kids and I made up our Weekly Menu and shopping list and all 5 of us went to the store. Normally my kids are crazy in the store but they rocked. It was like a challenge for all of them to keep us on budget. Maybe it was because I also dared them to do something while we were in the store (read below). I am proud to report that we spent $89 this week for groceries. That is up $1 from last week but great in my mind.

So I really do think that laughter is what keeps me from losing my mind. While we were in the car getting ready to go into the store I joked around with the kids that we should just stop in the middle of a busy aisle and we should yell "GROUP HUG" and then all hug one another. A few aisles into our shopping you betcha one of my kids yelled "GROUP HUG". I of course started laughing hysterically. I told them that the aisle wasn't busy enough and that I would pay the first kid who said it in the check out line $5. My kids are sneaky .... we get into the check out line and they start whispering to each other. Then all at once 4 kids scream "GROUP HUG" and start hugging and laughing. Then they all informed me that since they said it at the same time I had to pay them each $5. Ha ha ha ... dang it I love them. I bought them each a $1 lottery ticket instead. :)

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. ~Yiddish Proverb

Ten things for a Friday morning

1. Whoo Hoo it's Friday!!!
2. My weekend will be busy as usual and there will be not time for "true rest"
3. Hoping The Jeans calls me like he has the last 2 Friday nights even though he is on vacation
4. I'm horny horny horny *sigh* No privacy around here
5. I am feeling accomplished with my cleaning challenge so far
6. My ex is a selfish jerk and I wish the kids lived with me full time so I didn't have to hear the shit he does to them. :(
7. I need to start walking and working out again ... not comfortable with myself anymore
8. Hoping that the kids at work stay the way they have all week ... calm
9. Realized last night that Turtle iis changing her thoughts about her dad (my ex)
10. Hoping that I get some sewing time this weekend

No fancy quote today because I am running late for work now. ;)

Purging ... my new addiction

Three days into my 16 week challenge and I think I am doing pretty good so far. Monday I started on the front hall closet. Really we call it the "Shoe Closet". I should have taken a before picture of it. You would think that I had a small army living in my house with the amount of shoes we own. I guess to some people having 4 kids may seem like a small army lol. The amount of shoes was amazing to me. I am pretty sure the shoes starting breeding in there ... sort of how bunnies do. I didn't get to finish what I started because my car needed some work. Since I work all day taking it to a mechanic is not an easy task. I asked my friend Dave for his help and he fixed my car for just the cost of the part. I did hold the light for him to see. :)

I admit that I didn't get much done last night with the Shoe Closet or anything else. Come on it was Fat Tuesday and I needed to spend some quality time with my two best guy friends (Randy and Dave). I was home and in bed sleeping by 915. (On a side note I don't have my 3 younger kids Mon, Tues, Wed nights ... well unless they are sick)

Tonight however is a whole other story. I put Mini-me to work on the shoes while I made dinner. In a very short time we had filled a garbage bag of shoes to give to Goodwill. We also filled the trash can half full of shoes that had been chewed by the dog we had over a year ago (no idea why we still had those shoes), shoes that had no partner in life anymore (still wondering where their mates went), and shoes that were not even worthy of passing on (mostly Little Mans as he is very hard on shoes).
The hardest part was 4 little pairs of Converse that belonged to Little Bird when he was 1 & 2 years old. I lined them all up on the floor and about cried. Mini-Me tried told me to keep them cause they were so cute. I told her no and put them in a seperate bag from all the other shoes. I had a fight with myself about what to do with them. UGH Letting go is so hard but really I have no use for the shoes. So I put the bag on top of the rest of the items that will go to Goodwill on Sat. I am hoping I have the strength to let them go with out to many tears shed or. Really they are just shoes ...

I also cleaned out 2 of the cupboards in the kitchen. My kitchen is very very small. I call it a 1 butt kitchen ... as in literally 1 person can fit in it. So cupboard space and counter space is limited. When I went to get my glass for dinner I realized how much junk I had that I didn't need. So I started purging everything I could. Again struggled with a few items but realized I have not used those items in years and probably won't use them anytime soon. I found our toasting glasses from my wedding and put them in the box. I hesitated briefly just cause I thought they were pretty but again not using them and didn't see myself using them in the future.

I also have a clean kitchen, laundry is caught up and almost all put away (it's folded on the kitchen table so it has to be put away before dinner tomorrow), and my lunch is packed and ready to go for tomorrow. :-O I am sort of freaking myself out over here. LOL

As I was doing all of this purging I felt good but then I realized I need a better way then some spread sheet to show what I have done. If I don't see instant results I have a tendency to get overwhelmed and want to give up. So I decided that I needed a visual of all of the junk I am getting rid of to remind me that I am making progress even when it doesn't look like I am. So I took a picture of the stuff going to Goodwill on Sat.

Two kitchen trash bags, 2 grocery store bags, 1 medium box, 1 small box and then of course the bag with the Converse.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. ~Author Unknown

My 16 Week Challenge

After looking at the calendar the other day I realized that in about 15-16 weeks Mini-Me will be turning 18 and a few days later Graduating from High School. This means that my mom will be flying in for a visit. First the joy of getting to see my mom kicked in and then panic as my house is huge mess.

I have lived in Oregon for just shy of 14 years. My mom came to visit when I gave birth to Turtle ... who is now Eleven and a half. She then came a few months later for my wedding ... I did things backwards. ;) Both of those visits were before we had moved into our home. We have been in our house for 10 years this April and she has never seen it. With this being her first visit to my home I am sure as heck not going to let her see it in its current chaotic mess.

For the most part I keep my house clean. Minus Little Mans room ... his room constantly looks like a bomb went off in it. My goal is to get organized and keep it that way. At one point in my marriage my ex left the kids and I for 4 months. During that time my house was spotless ... of course I was a stay at home mom and I had more time. I managed to keep the house "magazine pretty" as I call it until we separated and I had to go get a job. I got lost in the divorce, losing my dad, working and trying to be a single mom all at once. My house went to pieces and I am constantly trying to play catch up.

No more excuses for me!! I know that there are plenty of single working moms that keep their places organized and clean. I have already started with my plan.

Friday since I did not go to work I cleaned out Turtles closet area and one of her drawers. Then I tackled the front hall closet and tossed out sweatshirts and jackets no one wears. Four bags later I was making a trip to Goodwill. I also made a trip to the dump yesterday and got rid of the garbage in the trailer.

Besides doing the normal laundry and after dinner kitchen clean up each day I am hoping to spend 15-30 minutes a night cleaning out an area of the house. Bags will be marked and ready to go to Goodwill and the trailer to go to the dump. Saturday mornings a quick run to Goodwill to get rid of stuff instead of shoving it out in the garage.

I am also trying to make some changes in my spending. I don't have a lot of money as it is and I feel as though I have really cut out anything we don't need but I am thinking that I could do just a little better. :)

Today I actually made a Menu for the entire week. I then made a grocery list of just the items we needed and I went to the store. I spent $88 on food for the week for a family of 5. I am thinking that is pretty good.

I am thinking that tomorrow evening once I have done my "chores" I will sit down and make a pretty spread sheet to show my accomplishments. I will probably blog about it also as there is something about putting it down in writing (typing in this case) that will make me want to be more motivated.

I am thinking Sundays will be my update day as that is when I do my grocery shopping and such. So off I go into my first week of my 16 week challenge. :)

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home.... I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. ~Nancie J. Carmody